Life after college

You know what scares me the most after graduating? Being unemployed. Why? Because I know that I’ll be unappreciated, they will see me as a person with no dream or vision. But what they don’t see is that I’m trying to do things at my own phase, trying to keep it calm, trying not to overwhelm myself with doing a lot of things all at once. But the people around me keeps pushing me to go faster than my own phase. They don’t understand that I’m in the process of accepting the change that happened in my life, I’m still adjusting to life after college, I’m not the kind of person who can easily adapt to changes.

During my freshmen year in college, I thought that I would be able to escape being look down upon. Well, I guess I can never really escape that do I? I will always be the dreamless, lazy, careless and insensitive child.

Do you know how badly I want to open up to someone and tell all these things that’s been bothering me. It’s just that I don’t want to look dramatic or overacting in their eyes that I choose to keep silent and write about it, rather than tell someone. I guess it does help, at the moment.

I’m not yet ready but they don’t see that, do they?

I wanted to be a teacher but they said that there’s no growth in there and it pays little. I wanted to wait and find the job that I think will suit me more but they said to apply to a certain job because it pays more.

I feel like I’m making the same mistake as I did before entering college, study any course just to have a degree.  Find job just to have a job. I am the type of person that takes time in deciding the things that I want to do. Stop pressuring me, stop rushing me, it hinders me to make right decisions.

I am lost don’t make me take any direction just so I can move. Let me find my own path, in my own pace, on my own.

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