Confession of a fan: BTS

I’ve been a fan of BTS since Boy in Luv era so I guess we can say that I’ve been a long time fan. Just to be clear, this post is not in any way written to bash the newer fans of the group but to say my opinion on their success worldwide. As you all know they are considered as one of the biggest group in this generation and I just want to share my take on it as an older fan who saw them during their rookie days.

The reason why I started stalking them or researching them was because of  V. If you’ve also been a long time Army you’d know that V — at that time — was known because he looks like EXO’s Baekhyun. And during that time I was an EXO fan so I was really curious since kpop fans kept on talking about him and his looks. So, I started searching for him.

The first video that I watched was their weekly idol guesting. Through one of the segments there, the “Random Play Dance”, I heard the song Boy in Luv, I liked it so, I searched for it then in the recommended side of Youtube, I saw their No More Dream video (the one with eng sub). As what I’ve said before in one of my post, I can actually relate to the lyrics of that song because at that time, I just graduated high school and I actually don’t know what course to take for college. And the song ends with RM saying “to all the youngsters without dream” so I was like, this is going to be my anthem! Then from there, I became a fan.

If I’m not mistaken, it was from the I Need You era that they started gaining attention. Of course as a fan, I was happy that finally people are noticing they’re talent and they’re music. But then do you know the feeling of having a best friend? Like from the first time that you saw each other, your personality jives, you’ve started hanging out, you’re always together. Then they started having more friends they started hanging out with other people and you felt left out. That kind of feeling? Well that’s what I feel from their success now. I mean, I know that even from the start they were hard to reach because they’re living in a different country as I am but at that time they’re image was approachable and now they feel very distant. I don’t know if it’s just me but that’s what I actually feel since they’re already big and almost everyone knows them now.

Right now, I’ve became a low-key BTS fan. I mean, I still listen to their newer music, It’s just that I’m not that updated anymore, unlike before where I watched every Bangtan Bomb videos that they upload. It’s not that I’m not a fan anymore I just want na parang give it to the newer fans, the fangirling part since I’m past that. Like I’ll let my best friend hang out with her newer friends since we’re already past that hanging-out-often phase of our friendship.

Anyway, this is becoming way too dramatic so I’ll end it here. Also, disclaimer I’m not saying that what I feel will be the same as what the other older Army feels. I’m not generalizing that all BTS’ long time fans feels this way. This is just my take on their recognition. And like what I’ve said before this is not in any way written to look superior to the newer Army just because I was a fan longer than them. I hope you won’t take that way. If ever someone read this.



I’ve written on my journal about my willingness to find something that I would really want. I mean, that level of want where you would do your best just to have it.  It’s because I’ve realized that I’ve always been living passively or mediocre as what other people say. I didn’t have anything that I’m passionate about. I do say before that I’m passionate in writing but I still feel that I’m lacking motivation. And like what I’ve also mentioned before, I’m still confused on what path to take.

Recently, I saw a job advertisement on Jobstreet, it’s a Digital Storyteller position. The Job Description of that position piqued my interest. I find it fun and engaging to read, and I feel really drawn to it. I don’t know why, but that was the first time where I felt that I really want that position in that company.

Every time that I went for a job interview, I always say “I hope that I would be accepted” halfheartedly. Sometimes, I even wish I wouldn’t pass the interview since I  realized that I don’t like to work there. That’s because I was looking for a job just to have a job, just so my father would stop telling me to be a call center agent because it pays well and just so I could tell him that I can land a job related to my course. I’m looking for a job just to prove myself to someone not because I want that position. But this time, with this Digital Storyteller position in that company, I genuinely want to be accepted. Every time that I saw my email with a message from the HR department telling me about the hiring process, I was like “This is it! This is what I want to do. I want to be able to apply the course that I’ve taken and at the same time be able to write”.

And so, I wrote this.

I’ve planned on posting job-related talks after I land a job. I was planning on writing job interview tips and motivational words about it. But I really, really, really wanted this job that I can’t keep it to myself, that’s why I’m posting this. But if ever I wouldn’t be able to get this position and work in this company, then that just means that I didn’t work hard enough for it, I didn’t do my best, and I’m a hypocrite to say that I want this. Too harsh? Well that’s what I needed, to be harsh on myself since I’ve been spoiling me way too much.

Anyway, I’m praying that I’d get this job and I’ll do my best so, pray for me too. Well, I guess that’s all. Wish me luck!


Update: I was accepted for the position, but I misunderstood the Job Description. Turns out it’s a Sales position and I’m not really into sales so I didn’t pursue it.

Anniversary Post?


Oh wow! I can’t believe that it’s been a year since I’ve started this blog. Congrats self for keeping up and for being able to continue.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about my recent job interview wherein I do actually like the position that I’ve applied for and I’m hoping to get that “you’ve been accepted” text/call. I feel like I did a good job but I don’t know since I haven’t been contacted yet. I wanted that position since it’s related to my course and I do think that I’ll be able to learn a lot about Online stuffs through it.

Honestly it’s not that I’m always rejected to all my interviews, I did pass in some it’s just that I’m not really fond of the position that I’m offered in. You might be wondering why did you even apply if you don’t want the position? I applied in different companies for different positions to familiarize myself on how an interview goes, so that if I applied for a position/company that I really like, I would be more confident in answering questions especially in english.

I guess that’s all for this anniversary blog. I didn’t get to write much since I wasn’t able to plan the topic that I’ll talk about, but if anything comes to mind within the day, I would post more.

Marketing Vs Selling

Marketing is knowing the needs and wants of the consumer and producing goods/services based on that knowledge.

Selling is the action of exchanging goods/services for a price — oftentimes money –.

Basically Marketing is a way to know what to sell, where to sell, who to sell to, how will you sell and how much will you sell it. It provides goods and services at the right place, right price, in the most convenient way possible. Marketing’s main goal doesn’t only focus on sales and profit but also customer satisfaction.

Why did I write this? I was asked to differentiate marketing and selling in my job interview this morning, and that’s my non-verbatim, thought out, paraphrased answer which I didn’t get to say. Since the answer should be spontaneous and I didn’t have that much time to think about these words and just to vent out my disappointment, I wrote it.

Today’s Feedback from the interview: From you need to improve your communication skills to you have a good communication skills. I’m satisfied!

Life after college

You know what scares me the most after graduating? Being unemployed. Why? Because I know that I’ll be unappreciated, they will see me as a person with no dream or vision. But what they don’t see is that I’m trying to do things at my own phase, trying to keep it calm, trying not to overwhelm myself with doing a lot of things all at once. But the people around me keeps pushing me to go faster than my own phase. They don’t understand that I’m in the process of accepting the change that happened in my life, I’m still adjusting to life after college, I’m not the kind of person who can easily adapt to changes.

During my freshmen year in college, I thought that I would be able to escape being look down upon. Well, I guess I can never really escape that do I? I will always be the dreamless, lazy, careless and insensitive child.

Do you know how badly I want to open up to someone and tell all these things that’s been bothering me. It’s just that I don’t want to look dramatic or overacting in their eyes that I choose to keep silent and write about it, rather than tell someone. I guess it does help, at the moment.

I’m not yet ready but they don’t see that, do they?

I wanted to be a teacher but they said that there’s no growth in there and it pays little. I wanted to wait and find the job that I think will suit me more but they said to apply to a certain job because it pays more.

I feel like I’m making the same mistake as I did before entering college, study any course just to have a degree.  Find job just to have a job. I am the type of person that takes time in deciding the things that I want to do. Stop pressuring me, stop rushing me, it hinders me to make right decisions.

I am lost don’t make me take any direction just so I can move. Let me find my own path, in my own pace, on my own.

Straight Outta College!

I can’t believe that I’m already out of college, it feels like it’s only yesterday when I first enter the classroom during my freshmen year and now I’m already unemployed, it’s a bittersweet experience. Bitter since I’m going to be leaving the place where I stayed most of my life to start the next chapter, wherein I have to be independent and stand for myself. Sweet because all the studying for the exams, the late nights preparing for a presentation, the procrastination and the rushing for the deadlines has now paid off. Graduating was one of my greatest achievement so far.

Honestly though, until now, I still feel lost but I try to live by going along with the waves until I figure out what I want to do. If that’s a good decision, I don’t know. I guess we’ll see what happens.


What’s offending and what’s not?

In my group of friends it has been a constant debate of what’s offending and what’s not. They say, if it’s below the belt, it’s offending but the question is what’s below the belt?


Sometimes the most simple jest can hurt some people. So when can we say that the joke has gone too far? In my perspective, we can never know. Arguments, misunderstanding and miscommunication is and will always be a part of our socializing, we get to interact with different kinds of people that’s why we are prone to this kinds of conflict.


So what do we do about it? As for me, if ever I was offended, I shrugged it off and just go along with the joke. I don’t make a big deal out of it but I do rant about it in my writings.